


The Offer Taken

by Nightscrawl



Series: The Meaning of More [12]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 12:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightscrawl/pseuds/Nightscrawl
Summary: Where Dorian has his curiosity satisfied and Judah reveals a bit more about himself.





	The Offer Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Continued thanks for [Schattenriss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schattenriss/pseuds/Schattenriss) for doing the beta. My writing is all the better for it.

For the residents of Skyhold, daybreak came delayed until the sun rose far enough to make its presence known over the towering peaks of the Frostback Mountains. The first light of pre-dawn bathed the room in a warm reddish-orange luminance, casting aside what remained of the previous night’s frosty blue and purple. 

Consciousness slowly came over Judah’s mind until it dawned on him that it was earlier than his usual time. He rolled onto his back and made a low, deep-throated squeak as he had a morning stretch. His arms flopped down at his sides, he closed his eyes once more, and was still. He didn’t _want_ to be awake. 

With a sigh, he opened his eyes once more to look at the man beside him. Facing away, oblivious and peaceful, Dorian slept on. Cream-colored sheets complimented the tint of his skin, which had a darker, warmer hue from the early morning light; the lines of shoulder, hip, and spine, accented by muscle, were pleasant to follow. Even without looking upon his lover’s face, Judah found the man alluring. 

Rather than get out of bed to begin his day—an annoying prospect given that breakfast would not be served for another couple of hours—Judah instead turned toward Dorian. He moved closer until he was comfortably at the other man’s back, yet remained separated. His intention not to disturb, he leaned over to plant a light kiss on Dorian’s shoulder. After that small indulgence, he raised his hand to trace down the shoulder, then to Dorian’s side, and finally to the hip, feeling muscle and bone with open palm. He was about to draw away when Dorian stirred by turning to lean into him. 

Eyes still closed, Dorian asked, “Mmm… What time is it?” 

“Nearly seven. I didn’t mean to wake you. I guess I was feeling a bit amorous.” 

“So you decided you molest me in my sleep?” 

“Uh…” 

Dorian chuckled. “It’s too early for _amore_. Go back to sleep,” he said, then turned away from his lover. As he did so, he pulled Judah’s arm closer about himself, tucking it against his chest as he settled into sleep once more. 

Judah smiled as he lay back down. The warmth and steady, rhythmic breathing were relaxing, and he knew that within a few short minutes, he too would once more feel the lull of sleep. He released a sign of contentment against Dorian’s back. For a moment, all he could think was that he loved this man nestled against him. 

* * * * * 

They lay abed. Dorian was against Judah’s side, head on his shoulder, one leg draped over one of Judah’s, playing with wisps of chest hair. Judah was on his back, running fingers through Dorian’s hair, stroking it gently. 

“Dorian.” 

“Hm?” 

“Have you ever…” Judah hesitated, hoping that Dorian wouldn’t misconstrue the meaning of the question, “been in love?” Although he didn’t want to hear a negative answer, he wasn’t necessarily asking for himself. He wanted to know everything about Dorian, but recognized this was a sensitive subject. 

At the question, Dorian propped himself up to look at Judah’s face, wondering at the intention. “Yes.” 

“What happened? Just… Tevinter?” 

“That was… essentially it, yes.” 

“I’m sorry,” was Judah’s response. 

“Don’t be,” Dorian said. “It was long ago; I was young, and now I’m not. Now I’m here. And you?” 

Of course, this was the natural follow-up to Judah’s question. “Yes,” he said, but then sought to clarify. “Well… I’ve only been with one other person.” 

“And?” 

With a sigh, Judah looked at the ceiling, not wanting to see Dorian’s reaction as he said, “Not… with _him_.” 

Dorian’s eyes widened a bit, but Judah didn’t see. He kissed his shoulder to let him know that it was not unwelcome and returned to his original position. It was an admission, but not. By being indirect, Judah was allowing him to interpret it any way he wished; a response wasn’t necessarily required. 

“He was my best friend growing up,” Judah continued. “Our parents are friends. We were together all the time, very close. I guess he grew out of it and I didn’t.” 

Dorian propped himself up once more. “What do you mean he ‘grew out of it’?” he asked, a slight edge to his voice. 

Judah heard it. “It’s just that… we were so close as children, and then into our teens, it just sort of… happened naturally,” he said, perplexed over Dorian’s irritation. 

“I see. I thought perhaps I was doomed to be an arrested adolescent forevermore.” 

After a moment’s pause, Judah said, “I don’t understand why you’re annoyed.” 

Dorian sighed, being all too familiar with the idea behind Judah’s words. “This is how we _are_, Judah. Saying that he ‘grew out of it’ implies it’s a childish thing that should be left behind, that he _changed_. Saying you didn’t implies that you _should_ change. I’m sure my father would very much like me to ‘grow out of it.’ ” 

“Oh.” 

“Yes. Now you see.” 

“I didn’t mean it that way. I’ve never met any other couples like us, Dorian. In Ostwick, I know of only a couple of other men that are interested in men, and no women that are interested in other women.” 

“Some people like both, you know.” 

“I know that _now_. I didn’t before joining the Inquisition.” 

A small smile played at the corners of Dorian’s mouth as he said, “Of all the condemnation heaped upon the Inquisition by the Chantry, I don’t imagine that ‘expanding the sexual horizons of its members’ is among them.” 

“Oh, I’m quite familiar with tight-assed Chantry-types; Ostwick is full of them.” 

Dorian’s smile spread into a full-on smirk. “Well, I can certainly vouch for the tightness of your ass.” 

Judah laughed for several seconds as a hint of color spread into his face. “Okay, you win.” 

“Mm-hmm,” Dorian replied, then remembered that Judah’s story was only half-told. “So what happened with your friend?” 

“Ah, right… Some years ago, we went to a ball in Markham. At one point, I turned to ask him something and saw his eyes fixed some distance away. I followed his gaze to a girl across the room and she was staring right back at him. They were inseparable after that. She was a nice girl. He was nice. They were lovely together.” 

“You do understand he’s one of those that likes both, yes?” 

“I do now. I hadn’t given it much thought before.” 

“So that’s it? They lived happily ever after?” 

“So far…” Judah paused, thinking back to his puzzlement at the time. “But I just… I found myself really happy for them and didn’t quite understand it. So I asked him what it felt like and he told me. Then I realized that I’d never been in love with him, or anyone. I did love him. I do love him, but not like that.” 

“What did he say?” Dorian asked, curious now, and interested. 

“Of being in love?” Judah laughed. “That it was hard to describe, but I asked him to try. He said that thoughts of her occupied his mind almost constantly, that he could pick out her voice in a room crowded with hundreds, that being near her made his heart dance in his chest and left him light-headed, that they could talk about everything and nothing and be content in each other’s company.” 

Dorian decided to take a chance. “And... do _you_ find it hard to describe?” 

“I suppose each person is different. I think he was near enough. But he didn’t have my problem, did he? All of this,” Judah made a general gesture that seemed to encompass the structure of the Inquisition, “mages, templars, _red_ templars, demons, Venatori, Corypheus, rifts, the Breach,” then added to lighten, “Orlesians.” 

Dorian laughed into Judah’s shoulder. 

“The danger and uncertainty make it worse, make it… hurt more. It would be different if we were in Ostwick and all I had to worry about were the mundane requirements of being a Trevelyan. Although, considering what’s happened to the Chantry, I suppose those aren’t so mundane anymore.” 

Dorian marveled at how easily Judah slipped into using words like “we” and took for granted that he understood. 

Thoughts trailing away, Judah was silent for several seconds, thinking of the confluence of events that led to their meeting; they would not have met under any other circumstances. Just a few years ago, the simple fact of Dorian being a mage would have made such a relationship impossible, regardless of their meeting or any other obstacle. Just then, he found himself oddly grateful that the world was ending. 

“I think you’d like him,” Judah said, returning to the previous thread of conversation. 

“If _you_ love him Judah, I’m sure I would.” 

With nothing else to say on the subject of love, they drifted into companionable silence. Each was content in the other’s company, not needing words to fill the air. 

Judah began to rub Dorian’s back as he thought about the conversation. Although it hadn’t been his intention on asking the question, he had admitted to being in love with him. While he knew that Dorian understood, and felt that he hadn’t reacted negatively, he wondered if it was a mistake. Considering that Dorian had no experience with an intimate relationship such as they had, he didn’t want to come on too strongly, or impose his feelings on Dorian if he wasn’t ready for them. 

But Judah needn’t have worried at all, for Dorian already knew, even if he hadn’t been fully aware of it. He felt it in the way Judah touched him, heard it in his voice and tone as he spoke, saw it in his look as he caught him staring. Judah’s words had been mere confirmation of what his actions suggested. The surprise had been in the admission itself, and the realization that it brought forth. 

Having already known it, that Judah loved him was not the focus of Dorian’s thoughts. Foremost on his mind was curiosity about Judah’s limited sexual experience, having wondered why he seemed confident with some things and less so in others. 

Judah felt Dorian begin to tap the mattress with his foot and was amused, knowing that his mind was churning away in distracted thought. “Something on your mind?” 

At the question, Dorian’s movement stopped immediately and his mind snapped back to the present. He felt a tinge of annoyance that he’d allowed his mental wanderings to show, which only grew to a twinge as he became annoyed with his own annoyance. By way of avoiding his other questions, he propped himself up again to ask, “What’s his name?” 

A smile spread across Judah’s face. “Asher.” 

Dorian looked at him askance. “I’m not jealous.” 

With a laugh, Judah replied, “I know you’re not. You’re curious. It’s one of the things I like about you. What else?” 

Dorian sighed and just gave in. “You weren’t with anyone else in all that time?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” Dorian asked, the keystone upon which his other questions rested. Judah was attractive and friendly, and more importantly, this type of relationship and sex was looked on with a much more forgiving eye in the South than in Tevinter. He had no doubt whatsoever that Judah could have been with others, may have even had opportunities, but simply chose not to. 

Over the years, Judah had given thought to his reasoning as he declined suggestions or rebuffed advances, and was prepared with an answer. “I told you how close Asher and I were. I guess I’ve come to associate that feeling with other things and I just didn’t want to be with anyone else. I have other friends in Ostwick, but none as close as he.” 

Judah ran his fingers through Dorian’s hair as he continued. “When I first met you in the Redcliffe chantry, the light from the rift reflected off your hair and your white silk robes—you glowed like the Fade. After we closed it, you asked how it worked and laughed on seeing that I didn’t know. You were curious and unafraid, dazzling with a touch of mystery, and I was interested immediately. But before this,” he said, with a gesture to indicate the bed on which they lay, “you were my _friend_, and I felt closer to you than I had to anyone else in a long time. To your question: _you_ are the first person I’ve _wanted_ to be with since then.” 

“Well, that’s quite the reward for all the work I’ve put into cultivating a first impression.” 

“Anything else?” 

“I was…” Dorian hesitated. “You don’t have to tell me…” 

“I seem to recall that I once said you could ask me anything you want. I know you didn’t take me seriously at the time, but I meant it.” 

Dorian had a light chuckle. “I remember. Considering what we were _doing_ at the time, I believe I thought you weren’t thinking very clearly in the moment.” 

“Fair enough. But I _did_ mean it, so you can finally take me up on the offer.” 

Dorian sighed. “I was wondering what the two of you… did.” He saw that Judah was surprised at the intensely personal question, but as he’d already begun he might as well explain. “That first night, when we started you seemed so confident, but then I asked, and you suddenly weren’t. From everything I’d seen of you up to that point, it was unexpected. Since then, with you and me, some of it has seemed… not new, but learning.” 

There was a moment of silence as Judah looked at him and considered his answer. “Well, I did put the offer out there…” 

Dorian had a sinking feeling and attempted, “Don’t think that I—” 

Judah offered a smile of reassurance. “I don’t. It’s fine,” he replied. “Asher and I never did what _we_ do. We were—” he interrupted himself with a small laugh, “_young_, naïve, noble boys that didn’t know anything. 

“You mentioned our first time. As I said then, I’d never been on the bottom before; Asher never wanted to try. I topped a couple of times.” Judah sighed, sounding annoyed with himself. “He didn’t like it. And even though he never said anything, I’m pretty sure it hurt. I figured out what I _should_ have done a while later, but by then it was sort of unspoken that that’s just not something we did. We did other fun things.” 

“_That’s_ why you hesitated that night with me.” 

“Yes. But that’s not the only reason. I was greatly enjoying _you_ and didn’t need anything else… for a while at least.” 

“For a while,” Dorian said with a light laugh, remembering. 

“I waited until I was _sure_ that was what _you_ wanted, that you weren’t just giving in to what _I_ wanted. I really didn’t want to feel that with you. That’s not a pleasant feeling, and it’s not a pleasant memory. That’s what I was afraid of. And also of doing it wrong… I suppose. Or of hurting you.” 

The conversation had taken a serious turn and Dorian saw that, despite their own positive experiences, the incident in Judah’s past still bothered him. Seeking to soothe, he said, “Not all pain is bad.” 

“But—” 

Dorian interrupted him by placing his thumb against Judah’s lips. “Listen. If I want something, I’ll tell you. If I don’t want something, or if it hurts when I don’t want it to, I’ll tell you that too. And you’ll do the same for me. Okay?” 

Judah nodded. 

“And I must say,” Dorian said, lightening his tone again, “for someone concerned with doing it wrong, you certainly managed to do it very right.” 

Judah laughed. “You are an excellent teacher, _messere_.” 

Dorian smiled at the compliment and at Judah’s directness, enjoying that he was comfortable in being so open with him. “But Judah, even if you had done everything perfectly that first time, he still might not have liked it. Not everyone does, you know, and some men only like it one way.” 

“How unfortunate for them.” 

“They get on, I’m sure,” Dorian said, laughing. 

“But, you asked what we did, not what we didn’t do. Primarily hands and mouth; we did a _lot_ of that. Also, uh… you know, when we rub? I don’t know how else to describe it. But I liked that more than he did, so we didn’t do that nearly as often.” 

Settling himself closer, Dorian said, “The Orlesians have a term for that, you know.” 

“Of course they do.” 

Voice sultry, Dorian slid his hand down Judah’s chest, along his side, then even farther to the hip and thigh. “They call it _frottage_.” 

“Hm… well, now I know what to ask for…” 

“I don’t recall you having to _ask_,” Dorian said, referring to those times when morning arousal had led to the twining of limbs, and a long, slow rub caused them to come against each other in an intense delayed orgasm. These were wonderful, lazy mornings, and even after they were physically satisfied, they remained, reluctant to leave the bed and each other’s warmth. 

“So I haven’t,” Judah agreed, then added with a slight, lighter shift in tone, “What we also didn’t do a lot of, which I greatly enjoy with _you_, is kissing. I didn’t really appreciate it as I do now.” 

With a playful smile, Dorian shifted himself so that he was lying more fully on top of Judah, placed his mouth very near, the barest distance between them, and asked, “Do you?” in a suggestive tone. 

Judah danced his fingers along Dorian’s spine as he replied, “Do I enjoy it? Or do I appreciate it more?” 

“Both.” 

“Yes.” 

Closing the gap between them, Dorian brought their lips together in a kiss; it was long and slow and they both enjoyed it. They made love as those who were in love, for although Dorian could see it in Judah, he did not yet see it in himself. 

End.


End file.
